First step

"When you insert the key into the lock and turn it to the right, the lock opens. When you turn it to the left, it gets locked. The heart is the lock; the mind is the key. You get attachment when your mind is turned towards the world. When it is turned towards God, you attain liberation. It is the same lock and the same key that are responsible for bondage and liberation."
Sri Sathya Sai, September­ 26^th, 2000

Although the idea seems simple, it is actually pretty hard to follow.

Not sure why, when or how, the concept of peace came into collision with my world. And I had to ask: What is peace?

In a nutshell, peace, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is:

1) a state of tranquility or quiet; as:

- freedom from civil disturbance

- a state of security or order within a community provided for by law or custom <a breach of the peace>

2) freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions

3) harmony in personal relations

4)

- a state or period of mutual concord between governments

- a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity

5)used interjectionally to ask for silence or calm or as a greeting or farewell

Inside my busy day to day life, with thousands of things to do, say, read, speak, watch and hear, peace was a concept usually applied to human relations: I am ok with my family and friends; no problems at work; the country is doing fine; no wars around, etc, etc, etc.

Peace was something that affected my relations with the world, others and how those relations could have an impact on my life. However, I don’t blame myself for such general and small (almost banal) concept. Overall, we are trained for that. We are still being trained for that: to look outside.  It is easy then, to realize that I’d never taken the time to look the other way.

Yet, and I am thankful for that, life is life. And life can push us. By the time I got pushed, and I realized that I had been pushed for a while, I found myself questioning peace and doubting if I had ever had it before. Oh, sweetened bitter flavor of discover. How satisfying it is to find something, just to perceive that you’ve never had it! It changed forever the concepts I had of my own mind and how I need to use it to achieve my inner peace.

So, tell me, have you ever felt you needed change? Have you ever questioned yourself? I did, I do and I cannot hold back. I have to move on.

Following on a journey that started around 8 years ago, I am still moving, and searching, for answers, for meaning, for life, for peace. Trying to find tranquility while diving in a tempestuous sea of emotions, I carry on. Sometimes I see this peace. Sometimes I surround it, touch it. I can even feel it. Until I am dragged again. Only to raise my head, get up, and back on the track.

This blog is another step. Another change I needed to pursue. Another way of telling myself that we are capable, persistent and courageous. A way to prove that we are afraid of changes, but no matter how challenging the changes are, they will make us grow stronger, and readier. Most of all, these pieces of writing are a reminder, for me, that my mind is my key and it is up to me to turn it to achieve the thing I most desire: my liberation.

Everything I write is with sincere thanks and devotion to my Guru, Sri Sathya Sai, without whom, I would never be the person I am and to my beloved wife always full of compassion, patience and love. I am always grateful.

Hope you enjoy.

Love,

Felgam.